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I have a very decent name. I mean, I don't hate it and I don't love it. Long story short, my father had a name picked out when I was born and up until birth, my name was going to be name A. Then, out came me and my mother freaked out, said she hated my name that they had agreed on for the past 7 months and said she was... | NTA you just pointed out a fact
Protip :You can always change your name to assert dominance ###### |
**Not recent but we are still arguing over this**
My sister was adopted when she was 9, I was 17 at the time so we aren't exactly besties which makes this more tense.
She's always struggled to move on with life, she's had countless therapists and has only just started to move on with her life.
When my sister was 19... | NTAIf she can't see other people drink how the fuck is she supposed to quit? When I quit drinking I didn't expect everyone around me to no longer enjoy the things they did in their daily lives just because I have no self control.
However you need to grow up lol jesus ###### |
I'm the eldest sibling in my family and have always prompted my younger brothers to remember important dates for our parents. Over the past two years, my youngest brother (29) has been living with a woman who has some strong beliefs about death and being in places where people have died. As such, my brother has drifted... | NTA—your brother chose to isolate himself and scoff at your mother's kindness.
Most importantly, your brother's [horrible] taste in women is not your responsibility. Maybe focus this energy into doing something nice for your mom? He seems like an energy suck. ###### |
My(28f) sister(20f) arrived in Canada for her first degree last September with the help of my uncle who gave her about $5500 to take care of her rent and other expenses at least for the first semester. The plan was for her to also get a part time job to support herself because her program consisted of only 4 classes a ... | NTA—You’re only the asshole if you don’t tell your uncle. He should know his money was flushed down the toilet before he gives her anymore. DO NOT LET HER MOVE IN ###### |
So background I pay for Netflix and let my brother in another state use it for him and his kids. I even made him his own profile so he can stop watching on mine, and his kids share the kid profile with mine. Well his daughter created her own and then changed the name of "kids" to that of her siblings. So I called him a... | NTA—They abused your favor. They should get and pay for their own account. ###### |
Little back story here. 8 months ago my wife asked if her sister could come stay with us for a week or two. I agreed. Now 8 months later after asking my wife several times When is she leaving? Today was the day.
She does not work, her daughter eats all of my children's food and she never stops crying. I know this was... | NTA—it seems possible your wife may have misled you. Your SIL changing her address to yours makes it clear she planned on staying in your home long-term from the beginning. This is also your home—the topic of your SIL moving in should have been properly discussed with you. ###### |
We had online exams 2 weeks ago. There was this particular exam where 2/3 of the students cheated. This weeks the results were given. Out of those 2/3 maybe 7/8 got a zero on the exam for plagiarism. They claim that they didn't, and that they know all the topics.
The only option would be remaking the exam.
The probl... | NTA—I’d say it’s within reason to expose their cheating.
Though I’d weigh if it were worth it to make everyone retake the test when the majority of the cheaters already got zeros, unless I’ve misunderstood ###### |
This happened about a year and a half ago, my birthday was coming up and while I haven't really celebrated it since I was like 7 or 8 my dad gives me money for something I want. My buddy got tickets to a primetime football game and I asked for a ticket to that game for my birthday. He agreed to get it for me but he sai... | NTA— your dad is trying to get you guys to get along, which anybody in his position would, and it would be ideal. Unfortunately doing this in your birthday and by force is unfair and not very smart because things like this happen, and everyone resents each other. I am sorry this happened to you. ###### |
Yes, I am 35 and have a 10yo half-brother from my father's second marriage. I am sort of a quasi-father/brother to my younger brother, My father and his wife were not planning on having kids so they were not prepared. My brother is a really cool kid and he spends a lot of time with me and my wife. His school got shutdo... | NTA— When you said “bro kit” I was expecting some really inappropriate things, but then you proceded to describe basic toiletries. I don’t think there’s anything offensive or inappropriate here and I don’t know why his mom would object. Are you sure this is the case? Maybe the way you are phrasing this and the way you... |
My spouse and I have a recurring argument that revolves around their desire to have our 5 year old sleep in our bed. If it were an emergency situation, my child wasn’t feeling well or there was a severe storm or something like that I am fine with them sleeping in our bed. Also, as a compromise I let our child sleep in ... | NTA— I find that it’s really strange your spouse is the one pushing for your kid to sleep in your guys’ bed. Your spouse is preventing your child from developing some independence/privacy and that can later be detrimental.
It seems like it’s an attachment issue for your spouse— is it anything more concerning about t... |
Two years ago my cousin's dog was diagnosed with a life threatening medical condition. The veterinary bill eclipsed $10,000 AUD. My cousin didn't have the necessary funds, and for whatever reason ended up in my house begging and pleading for a loan.
I should mention here that I'm not rich by any means. Rather, it's th... | NTA— I applaud what you did. Your cousin is a huge and very brazen asshole. You may have given her the best lesson of her life because if she continues like this, she will have some very serious financial problems (if she doesn’t already have them). You have already come to her aid and now, she, a person on low income... |
For a little bit of context I understand it's not a bit deal we all have those dreams and I am over reacting on my part by just wanting to be alone for a little bit. My wife tells me she had a dream where we were all at my best friends house and i had to walk outside to do something. During this time she initiates havi... | NTA
Your wife's dream is fine weird stuff happens in dreams but her basically bragging to you about it and then acting like nothing is wrong is sketchy as hell ###### |
My boyfriend and I have both hit hard by the economic effects of COVID-19. I was laid off from my job, and my boyfriend's company has furloughed most of its employees indefinitely. We are both very anxious about our future, and every dollar we receive from unemployment and our stimulus checks is going directly into sav... | NTA
Your sister is living rent free and complaining about what you have to eat? It sounds like she’s TA tbh. Especially if she knows your situation too. ###### |
A little background: I am the scapegoat of my family and it has lead to a lot of self hate and a I’ve been trying to unlearn a lot of it recently. A while ago I had a breakdown and confined in my sister that I always feel like people hate me, specially my family but also strangers and friends and we had a talk about it... | NTA
your sister could have said anything but to bring up something you confided to her is wrong on many levels. ###### |
My (27m) wife (26f) and I have been together since 2012. We started dating young and got married at 23. It was the greatest decision of my life. She means the world to me and then some and I love this woman. We’ve helped each other grow over the years and about a year ago we decided to start trying for a baby.
A year ... | NTA
Your mother sounds horrible...
This isn't the only reason you're cutting her off. The way you describe it makes it seem like she's racist, and generally fairly heartless. Snide remarks about dead parents aren't funny. Telling you to find a wife with "working reproductive system" is abhorrent. Regardless of paying ... |
Hey Reddit, I want to know if AITA for telling my mom off bcoz of her ignorance about mental issues faced by teenagers?
So this started off when I started talking about how Anorexia disorder has the highest mortality rate among all the eating disorders which affect teens and she laughed and told me that no such thing... | NTA
Your mother reminds me of my father, I had estranged him but he kinda changed now, maybe you should be even more aggressive in your response next time. ###### |
So I'm going to be moving out of my toxic family's home later in may to a different city. My parents obviously responded poorly to my decision because they're both control freaks, and having me leave would mean they would no longer have any control over me. I made it clear that once I move I'm blocking them and cutting... | NTA
Your health is a very important and often personal aspect of your life. You need to feel comfortable in that office, and be able to speak freely.
Depending on where you're at, you should be able to keep her out of the doc's office easily enough, or at least keep your appointment private. If you mention to the do... |
My daughter (9F) recently got her period a few days ago, and my husband who was in the medical field thought it would be better if we both talked to her together.
We did the whole birds and bees talk, and that she shouldn’t feel uncomfortable asking dad to buy pads and tampons for her.
We wanted her to feel comfortab... | NTA
You're showing a united front of being supportive to your daughter and opening lines of communication in regards to her period. Good on the both of you!
P.S. Don't listen to your family, they seem like they're stuck in a shitty "periods are taboo and shameful" mindset.
Edited for spelling ###### |
I know he automatically sounds like TA, but hear me out. I may be TA.
I (30f) found out today my uncle died. My mom was trying to get a hold of him, couldn't, had police do a wellness check, and it appears he died several days ago.
My mom is beyond devastated, and I'm very sad too. My uncle had a hard life, but was ... | NTA
You wouldn’t have gotten short with him if he hadn’t said that. However maybe he just didn’t know what to say in the moment. Either way I’m really sorry for your loss. ###### |
I'm an amateur photographer, but hoping to make this my side gig. I am relatively good at it, even though I say so myself.
I often do shoots with people like beginning models, people who want to be actors, etc. Basically I do a shoot for free, they can use the pictures on their own website, or when sending out head sh... | NTA
You own the copyright of the photos as per the verbal agreement
In the future make sure there’s kinds of arrangements are in written contracts, even with friends ###### |
I(15F) have been babysitting my lil brother O(4 months) since he was a newborn because my mom and her boyfriend both work nights. I used to have a schedule where I would alternate nights with my other brother J(17M) and for about the first month I got irritated a few times but it wasn't enough to deter me. J eventually... | NTA
You didn’t birth the kid. He’s not your responsibility. Tell your mom to figure something else out. You. Aren’t. The kids. Mom. She is. ###### |
My ex and I still have regular (almost daily) contact because of our daughter who just turned two. I spent most of our relationship wondering if we were even a couple. Coworkers would ask me and I’d tell them “as far as I know, we still are.” My family and my friends are not his biggest fans because of how he treated m... | NTA
You did nothing wrong. Your ex may have been shaken because of how quickly you replied. I’m sure he felt like, “damn, she didn’t hesitate for even 1 millisecond. “ And that probably bruised his ego a little bit.
My analysis would be different, for example, if you responded “hell to the no.” (or something similarl... |
So, recently I learned just how homophobic my brother is. It turns out he repeats that “gays go to hell and are bad” to his CHILDREN. I am a pan/bi guy, and this shocked me seeing how he was only a little on the “gays are bad” side until now. I have reinforced it in my niece and nephew that what he is saying is not tru... | NTA
This is understandable especially since you are in the LGBTQ+ community (and even then it’s wrong to speak so badly about them). I’m glad you are giving a different perspective to your niece and nephew.
Be sure to take care of your own well being, if this is toxic to you you don’t need it in your life. ###### |
So my mom and my step-dad always had this rule "My house my rules." Of course, I never had a problem with this as a child because all I did was watch cartoons, play with my toys and do whatever a child does. But now that I've grown up, I've started to value my privacy much more. Every time I do something on my computer... | NTA
They just don‘t wanna see their little sunshine growing up and getting independent.
A wish for privacy is something very normal
Your Mum kinda sucks here, looking through messages that aren’t meant for her is a total No-Go! ###### |
Last night, my (33M) 2 step-children (aged 10 and 11) were watching some funny YouTube videos on TV and since my wife (37F) was already watching, I decided to join in as well.
A clip played where a man was trying to jump from one parking pole to another. He lost his footing and landed right on his crown jewels on one ... | NTA
That wasnt an "inappropriate joke". I was expecting it to be explicit or something.
The fact that children in grade 5 dont know where babies come from is kind of wild to me. Its best you guys explain it than have the internet misinform them and warp their perception of sex/relationships/reproduction. Maybe have ... |
(On mobile, sorry for any formatting issues. Also I talk about going out, but this was pre-covid. She just brought it up to me recently, and I wanted some other opinions.)
I (25f) love my sister (35) a lot, but sometimes when we go out she likes to tell people we're sisters and have them guess how old we are. At first... | NTA
She is the one who played the game constantly needing the ego boosts.
Tell her to let it go and that you’re happy the way you are.
But if she pulls that crap again. You’ll do it again. ###### |
For some context, my girlfriend and I have recently had a son, yay!! But every time my mom sees him she acts like he is her boy. This has been going on every time that she talks about him since he was born on March 21st. So, would I be the asshole for telling her that my son is not specifically her gradbaby, and is my ... | NTA
She got to raise her kids, this is your opportunity to parent. As a grandparent she should be taking her cues from you and your wife, not giving them to you. Asking for some room to parent isnt "taking" anything from her, and if she were to chill an iota, I bet you would both be willing to offer more.
Try the b... |
So my cousin and I(both 22F) are only 6 months apart and her birthday was in early March. A few days ago in the family group chat she sent her cashapp and asked for family to send their birthday gifts there. 1) once you then 18 in my family it’s very rare to get a birthday gift from everyone. 2) she’s 22 with a job and... | NTA
She doesn’t NEED the cash, and it’s yours ###### |
I work for a property management company, and today we went to do a cleanout of a house that had been evacuated by the previous tenants. Living there previously was a foster mom with six children.
We opened the garage door, and it was filled floor to ceiling with rotting trash and crap and smelled absolutely foul.... | NTA
Report that. Those kids can’t live like that, all you’d be doing is trying to protect them ###### |
My parents split when I was around 6ish, my dad never remarried but my mom remarried almost recently to a guy who had 3 kids who were 8, 5 and 2 and I was 7 at the time. I don't want to fully blame my mom but she rushed things, I wasn't hot on my parents divorcing and then BAM I had a new family just like that and my ... | NTA
Relationships can’t be forced. I hate when parents do this kind of stuff. It works to be counterproductive. Family relationships are important but no one is going to be super close with every single family member. It is what it is. They can’t force you to cherish a bond that was never there in the first place. ###... |
I was babysitting my 7yo nephew and he wanted to paint. His parents bought him an easel and paint. All I was ever told was the painting had to be outside. We went outside and his easel and supplies were on the hardscape and not the grass, I figured that's where he painted.
Of course he got some paint on the hardscape... | NTA
Let her pay you for all the free babysitting you've been doing (assuming you did it more than once), take $70 of said money, give it back to your sister for the cleaning.
Problem solved.
Honestly, if you don't leave clear instructions while leaving someone else with your child in your place, you just have to live ... |
Been debating posting this in case my girlfriend sees so I made a throw away.
My (26M) girlfriend (25F) has been complaining for absolutely ages about her phone, it’s an IPhone 5.
So for her birthday I upgraded her phone to the latest iPhone, it’s an expensive contract (£80 a month) I’d rather not have spent that mu... | NTA
It’s really rude to sell a gift.
Btw if this is how she usually is I would really reconsider the proposal. ###### |
Throwaway
I (16f) am trying to lose weight. I was obese, and I’m closer to a healthy weight now that I’ve learned some better eating and exercise habits. Earlier tonight for dinner, I decided to make pizza.
The pizza was made with cauliflower crust, ricotta cheese and topped with broccoli and chicken — I wanted to m... | NTA
It’s not even vegetarian, let alone vegan. I don’t get his point. On another note why did your brother stop eating it? He initially thought it was good before you told him. And then why did he tell your dad? None of this makes sense.
Good job on your weight loss and it’s great that you’re trying to eat healthy. ... |
So my sister is 25f I am 20f, I currently go to college and my sister is a house wife.
Recently my sister found out she could not have children. For the longest time she wanted kids so I obviously felt bad for her. Well about 2 weeks ago she came to me and asked if I could be her surrogate and that she would pay for a... | NTA
It's your body and your sister isn't entitled to it. Based on how she acted, don't think you shoukd be a surrogate for her even when you are in a better place. It seems like it would be an insufferable 9 months.
Also,
>She said she didn't want a used kid she wanted someone who was related to her.
You sister is ... |
Backstory here: I'm Indian, so I wear saris basically everywhere because my parents are really strict about my heritage. Second, I have eczema, so my lower body is covered with scratches, dry skin and scales, and the sari helps cover it up.
So, I'm at my Indian-American cousin (male) to a beautiful American woman's (w... | NTA
It's a wedding at India, with Indian relatives, she wouldn't dare to do this with your cousin's mother, for example (idk which one of your cousin's parents is Indian). Is just disrespectful of her, not just personally but culturally (at least from my point of view)
Besides, you told her that you would change for ... |
My husband and I are relatively well off and bought a house a few months ago. We decided to rent out our second room to help pay off school debt. We rented it for a few months and our tenant asked to move out and buying his own house. We're sad to see him go but it is a better situation for him.
My parents are very ... | NTA
If your parents pay rent then they're lodgers, that's officially their space and not your husbands to offer out anymore. It's effectively not a part of your house anymore.
Edit. A word ###### |
Okay, so the title makes me sound like a Karen, but please read before you Judge. About half a year ago People moved into a house down the street, they seemed like they were going to be okay neighbors they would wave while unloading their belongings and seemed to be like the others. about a month later thought they dec... | NTA
If the neighbors are shooting late at night to the point that it’s disrupts everyone’s sleep you are well within your rights to call the sheriffs to report it. ###### |
I’m 15f. My mom is 35f. Before the pandemic started, my mom’s friend and her two kids (friend is 36f, kids are 12f and 14f) came to stay with us, and are still here.
The friend’s kids are annoying, which I can deal with, it’s not an issue. But they’re also using my hygienic things, like my razor, my special soaps/hair... | NTA
I would secretly call CPS to get that whole dealio of weed sorted out and it’ll give a reality check to the whole household. Don’t smug afterwards though. Hide your snacks, products, anything you want and is YOURS. They don’t care, neither should you. Not all in one place though so if they press you, you got spots... |
I knitted this blanket for my friend’s birthday. It took me three weeks since I’m new at knitting. There were some mistakes such as dropped stitches but I worked really hard and it has quite intricate stitching. My boyfriend said that I should just buy the friend a blanket because knowing them they would freak out abou... | NTA
I would feel so honored if someone gave me a gift that they spent so much time and effort on.
I actually did something similar. I can (kinda) crochet. So before my first niece was born I tried to knit an extra thick blanket. I ended up running out of yarn and it became a really ugly mattress pad.
I gave it to m... |
My (16F) sister (18F) and I have never gotten along. We have very different personalities and always argue. Today we were visiting someone else’s house and got into an argument there. I can’t even remember what started it. She said something and I got mad at her. We were yelling at each other and getting pretty intense... | NTA
I guess you are both struggling with the issue about your father. Counseling or therapy maybe? ###### |
My cousin, who we will call Lia, is from America, her mother married my uncle, yeah yeah. Shes a cousin now. She's 14. And shes obsessed with Asian culture. She often talks about Korean culture and all she listens to is Kpop. She doesn't really respect me or my family (Important: we're from Thailand). She often asks me... | NTA
I don’t think she realizes that Asia is not just one country. ###### |
I've been running for a few years, but have had a bad time health-wise this year (not the C-thing). Because my fitness has declined further than I like, I've gone back to the beginning of a Couch To 5k programme to build myself back up, using an app on my phone to guide me.
A part of this is intervals, e.g. repeating ... | NTA
I don't know what I'm doing when I'm running, but I'd get annoyed if strangers couldn't take a polite "no, thank you". ###### |
I'm an exec at a start-up, due to COVID we needed to lay some people off. Only about 5% of our staff and I was told to make a 1 cut in our operations and strat team. The person I chose to let go is named Sara and is like 23, and has been with us for a year. On that team we have 5 people and a couple months back we had... | NTA
Her comments should have had disciplinary consequences straight away, but if what you said about the team-members all being equally valuable is true, and you have indeed considered that first, you are not the AH for choosing her for inappropriate behaviour in the past.
I imagine this is gonna be a bit divisive bu... |
First time posting here so forgive any improper etiquette. About a week ago my sister and her 8 year old son came over for lunch. I have a very good relationship with her and my nephew, so they come over here quite often. Lately He's been getting into Star Wars, which I think is great because I'm a huge Star Wars fan. ... | NTA
Even though he doesn't want to, he can easily break it. He's too small, his fine motor skills are not fully developed yet so he can easily drop it by accident while trying to be careful with it. And he's too small to understand the value of such things.
You can maybe get him and yourself some cheaper toy lightsab... |
So for context I had to wake up at damn 8 for online school which sucked ass but had to wake up. I struggled to wake up but finally got up at 7.52.
I got out of my room and went to the kitchen and got a banana quickly before the lesson. I noticed that my (37/39) parents’ door was open on the way to the kitchen but I ... | NTA
Dude, that sounds like a nightmare. Idk what our parent's logic is sometimes. Sorry you had to wake up to ass and an ass-class. ###### |
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
So, I was a sperm donor, and now 20 years later, someone reached out and told me that I'm their father, and they want to be in contact with me.
I said no, I thought that was it.
But she keeps contacting me, she really wants to be in contact with me, get to know her father, etc.
I th... | NTA
Dont make her hope
How did she even get your infos? ###### |
Okay so immediately that title makes me look like a total fucking douche, but let me elaborate.
My friend Charlie and I recently rekindled our friendship, among rekindling our entire high school friend group, after the group broke up and went no contact for roughly 8 months. The group consisted of about twenty people... | NTA
Don’t give him a penny
His demand is unreasonable and stupid beyond belief
You said he works two jobs? I bet his job aren’t that good. If his parents were well off he probably was given cash by his parents and spent more than he could afford in the past. Now he wants to keep living beyond his means
Don’t pay him... |
Info:
My husband and I live in a flat and just over a month ago took on a flatmate of a similar age.
We all get on pretty well but she keeps alluding to wanting us to share our meals as she doesn't cook for herself outside of freezer meals.
I'm totally not wanting to be a stingy bitch, but she still has a paying ... | NTA
Don't be coy or give hints with your response, the best way to set up boundaries early in the relationship is to be very clear. If you do it once, it will be even more awkward afterwards.
I would say this:
"Housemate, I will not be cooking meals for you. If you don't know how to cook, I am happy to give you tips f... |
Short and quick post.
I am 15M and have been saving my money (£500) for about a few months. This money is in cash in my secret safe in my room. My parents are key workers meaning they still have a steady income. Last week my mum offered to clean my room which was somewhat sketchy but I agreed. At the time I wasn't thi... | NTA
Chances are she took your money and kept it and used putting it in savings as an excuse ###### |
My wife and I have a 16 w/o baby who understandably is taking up all of our time. First baby for both of us and it’s been quite overwhelming since babs was premature and there have been some touch and go moments with her health.
My wife has also suffered with a lot of weight loss and decreased appetite so she strugg... | NTA
By increasing your visits to multiple shops, you are increasing the risk of:
a) you being exposed, which puts not only you, but her and bubs, at risk
b) you spreading more germs to more places, which increases the risk for others, who may or may not be vulnerable
You absolutely should not be doing this for the sa... |
I was in a video call with people from school there was 34 of us. I was wearing my hair in two braids it’s a traditional hairstyle from my tribe (I’m Native American) a couple of the African kids started say I was appropriating black culture by having braids. I tried to explain to them why I had it like that it’s part ... | NTA
Braids have been universally in use even in ancient China.
I see it how they accuse you of being racist and then proceed to call you a red skin etc. Is this that anti-racism? ###### |
A little context: I am 19f, the sister in the conflict is 14f, the sister who told me is 16f. I do not live at home, but they do live with my mother.
Around a week ago my sister (16f) called to tell me that my mother had gotten my 14 year old sister a vape. I was shocked as my mom had caught the 16 year old sister wi... | NTA
At all! Vaping at such a young age could have side effects that are long term. If she’s doing it because it’s “popular” amongst peers, she shouldn’t. You definitely should because YOUR MOTHER bought the vape for her ###### |
Throwaway
My mom cheated on my dad and went and married her friend who is single. I am 30 years old and my salary is 120,000 dollars . My father recently went homeless.He was not able to pay rent as he was fired for his job.
I live in a nice cozy two bedroom apartment in south Carolina. Since my dad was homeless f... | NTA
Any mom who complains about how their kid is not supporting them through social media (air out family dirty laundry) is bad news. So what if you help your dad. He is your dad, were you suppose to let him sleep on the street? Your mom just sound bad and bad the more you think about it. ###### |
Due to my family I had an opportunity to learn multiple languages from a young age. 12 to be exact. So after I joined the military and learned about FLPP I was making very good pay while basicly living on board a floating city. Since then I have developed the nickname tongues. Goonies referance im guessing. After... | NTA
Although you'd think the bartender would put two and two together when you asked to keep your tab seperate. I'd seriously reconsider my friends if I were you - I mean really, with friends like these... ###### |
Sometimes I like to get high then go for a long walk with headphones in and just get lost in the music I'm listening to. It gets me outside, get me moving, and I feel super happy and relaxed when I get back inside.
Yesterday I decided to roll a joint and smoke it as I walk. Usually I do this at night, or smoke before... | NTA
Also a Canadian. The law is that you are allowed to smoke anywhere someone could smoke cigarettes. If anyone does not like it, they can write their local government. Until then, you have the absolute legal right to do what you did and no one has any right to prevent you. If the neighbours don’t like it they should... |
Yesterday, I was talking in a group chat and this one person who I would be friendly with started to text in homophobic slurs, saying 'all gays should be sent away' etc. These comments have been a recurring issue with this guy for years and he has seemed never to back down on them even after I and others condemn them. ... | NTA
Actions have consequences and a company can't keep someone with a (intolerant) mindset that will inevitably hurt the company.
Especially if it goes against company policy or if the person was in direct contact with customers. ###### |
AITA: Backstory, I come from a big Mormon family. My mom has 5 siblings, and 5 step siblings. My dad has 8 siblings. I left the Mormon church a five years ago. I have a bad relationship with my dad, two of my siblings and my dad's whole family. Most of them haven't talked to me in years, and when my little brother die... | NTA
A wedding isn't a family event, a wedding is about you and your hubby enjoying and showing off how much you care about each other to the people who mean alot to each other. ###### |
For the last year my (26f) roommate (26m) has been leaving poop on the seat whenever he goes to the bathroom. Me and my wife have had several discussions asking him to please clean it and countless "I'll make sure to double check" in response. Usually I'm the one that cleans it up and I politely ask him to please be ... | NTA
Your wife should be backing you on this, too. ###### |
Throwaway on my friend’s account.
So I (26F) have a sister (22F) who I’ll refer to as Lily. When I was 17 and my sister was 13, our father passed away and we were left with a pretty big sum of money each that would cover university, rent, groceries and the down payment of our future house (we were given the same amoun... | NTA
Your sister sounds entitled as all hell. Bad with money too. It's not your job to bail her out. ###### |
I'm 13, my sister is 23. We have a great relationship and I'm even kool with her boyfriend.
Last week I was supposed to spend at her place, as we hadn't seen each other during the lockdown. Her bf would be there 3 times (they don't live together).
It was all good till their "night activities" woke me up in the middle... | NTA
Your sister is unwilling to accept her responsibility in the situation. That's on her.
Have you tried earplugs? A white noise generator can help too.
Also, no reason to be embarrassed by all of this. ###### |
I’m immunosuppressed, and my wife is in the hospital for a few days. I’ve been texting her but we decided it was better if I didn’t go in to see her to limit my exposure chances to covid. I’ve been texting her, but I drew her a picture that I wanted to send and I wrote a note to go along with it. My sister works as a n... | NTA
Your sister invaded your privacy.
I guess in the future, you'll be sealing envelopes. Really not much more here honestly, unless you want to go old school and get yourself some wax and signet wring or stamp. ###### |
My sister and her H are very into kinky sex (I’m not and admittedly don’t know a lot about it) but my sister tells me about it a LOT so I feel like I’ve learned a decent amount. From what I can tell, sharing details with other people is part of the excitement for her. Basically he has a cuckolding fetish where he likes... | NTA
Your sister did massive TMI and is possibly involving you in their kink without giving you the proper info or allowing you to give proper consent. I would email both of them and say you are no longer comfortable talking about their sex lives so your sister is to stop sharing details of it with you. Your sister an... |
My grandfather is religiously Slavic/Norse, and I've been as well for a few years under his look. None of my family members go to church, read the Bible, anything Christian. I always assumed that they knew about what I was and as such I never directly told them I was Slavic.
Recently, I got a package that contained Sl... | NTA
Your religion, your choice. Although I am skeptical of anything involving blood...
Just be careful safety-wise with any blood stuff or sharp objects and you're NTA ###### |
We dated for 2 years, I got pregnant, and he said he wasn't ready to be a dad and left us. He came back when she was about a year old and apologised, stuck around for about 6 months, and then left again. She's now 4 and he wants back in her life.
I've said that's not happening unless we have a custody agreement. I kno... | NTA
Your priority is your daughter. He doesn’t get to be a dad only when he feels like it. A month here. A month there. Maybe six months and he’s gone for two years again.
You’re right. She’s old enough now that she will notice if and when her dad is around. She’s also old enough to have memories of him popping in ... |
My younger brother doesn't do any of his chores properly. Parents asked him to do the dishes: there were plates in the cabinet with dried on food. They asked him to vacuum: he would just kind of push it in one path, one direction and left all kids of weird track patterns. They asked him to mow the lawn: he purposely br... | NTA
Your parents should realise by now that your brother is taking them for a ride. He half arses his chores so they wont ask him often. Your parents should be making sure he does the chores correctly.
I think you should just do your bits, without having to clean up after your brother. ###### |
My older sister has autism and my parents have made me her caretaker since I was around 7th grade. We were made to go to the same classes in school except language class where I chose Chinese and she chose Japanese. When younger my sister did not have any friends outside our friend circle but me so she’s very close and... | NTA
Your parents should have been called out when they started placing you and your sister in the same classes. I'm surprised the school allowed them to do that.
Your sister is not your burden in life. Go make your own way and offer her only the support you can give. ###### |
So my Mum and Dad moved about 5 hours away from me a few years ago to go and live by the sea.
Recently with everything going on they’ve started making plans for what they’re planning when they’re no longer with us.
So the other night my mum FaceTimed me because she’s been planning all this stuff and asked me if someth... | NTA
Your parents have every right to choose a guardian that will live in their house if that's what they want. You have every right to refuse to move to another location to become his guardian.
Your parents (and friends from the sounds of things) are TA because they don't have the right to try and guilt you for bein... |
Posting from mobile so please excuse formatting.
My dog has multiple health issues, specifically hypertension and an autoimmune disease in one eye. Daily, she needs to receive a pill in the morning and four drops, two in the morning and two at night. She has gotten used to the drops and pills and doesn't fight you, ju... | NTA
Your parents are deflecting blame. They just don't wanna do it. ###### |
Hi- I have a sister who is a few years older than me, and has wanted kids since she was a kid. She wants a small litter of them and is a primary school teacher, and I think one day she will make a great mum.
I, on the other hand, do not like kids. Full stop. I never want to be pregnant, I don't find baby videos cute... | NTA
Your not obligated to be a babysitter ###### |
So my brother just had a baby a month and a half ago with his wife and due to coronavirus we haven't been able to see her until recently.
My mother (62) has been looking forward to meeting her and since the baby has been here with us now for a few days along with my brother and his wife, she has been very helpful wi... | NTA
Your niece is 6 weeks old. A baby that tiny shouldn’t be bed sharing in the manner they have her. The gap between the mattresses is dangerous. Also there’s a risk of suffocation.
I’d voice concern again, this time to the new parents. ###### |
To preface my father passed away about 2 months ago. I was incredibly close with him, I moved states away from my mother to rebuild a relationship with him after their divorce. I went through all of high school living with him and lived a city away throughout college. He was my biggest supporter. So I (23M) am having t... | NTA
Your mum is right, Your dad left it to you for a very clear reason, you were there for him, and this is his way of being there for you now after he passed. ###### |
I'm sorry if this is long or confusing but I'm conflicted.
Backstory my mom was incredibly abusive to me. Everything except sexually because I got that from someone else. I was forced to work at our store when I was 8 years old. Every way you could abuse someone she did it. I moved out when I was 14. I had just fini... | NTA
Your mother was abusive. You don't need to bring someone with a history of hurting you into your home.
It's unfortunate that she's in a tough spot but I mean... Maybe she shouldn't have abused her child ###### |
Okay, so I'm 20 F, and I'm living with my parents.
So this happened today at lunch. We'd all sat down to eat, and there was fish. I hate fish. I hate most non-vegetarian food. Nonetheless, I didn't want to start a fight, so I sat down and ate almost all of it, except for a little bit which I just didn't want to anymo... | NTA
Your mother needs to get a grip. You're 20, an adult and she cannot tell you anymore what to eat and how much and when. If anyone embarrassed her in front of your house aid it was herself being so pedantic about this. And stomping on someones dignity over that? I don't think she knows what that means. ###### |
I don't even know where to begin with this. First time posting here.
My family consist of me (17), my ma, my two sisters who I'll call A and J (A is 18, and J is 15) and my two younger brothers (one's highly autistic and the other is 8, neither of them are important to this). Now then, after school closed but before p... | NTA
Your mother is allowing a predator to live in her home. Why? ###### |
My 5 year old had been going to my mother in laws house pretty regularly for overnights, 2 or 3 times a month, per her request. In all my years of parenting, I have made it loudly, unmistakably clear that I do not use physical discipline on my children, and she is not to either. Ok, she doesnt agree but will respect it... | NTA
Your Mother in law did not do what she did to ‘calm her down’. She was frustrated and angry and wanted to shut the kid up.
This is not okay. ###### |
So, as Disney Plus was coming to my country, I managed to convince my parents to get an account, only if it was through ma pocket money. So, I decided, eh. fuck it, imma get it. So, it was all sunshine and rainbows for a while until my dad asked for the password to give to one of his friends. I was reluctant at first b... | NTA
Your money, your password, do what you like with either of them.
(Although I agree with your last line :) ) ###### |
I (F16) was forced to get a job at 15. At the time I wasn't really doing anything productive, so my dad made me get a job. He said it'd keep me busy, and I'd be able to spend my money however I want as long as I kept 30% of it in the bank.
I wasn't fond of the idea since I'm not really good with people, but my dad ins... | NTA
your money, your business ###### |
For context, I am F24 and just bought my very own condo. I took out a loan that I will have to pay back over the next couple of years, but I looked at, bought, etc. the condo myself. My Mother (F53) had nothing to do with it.
Now, my mom has always been entitled. When I first moved out, she gaslit me into giving her ... | NTA
Your mom will never stop dominating your life if you don't start standing up for yourself.
She might try and ruin your life, but people will quickly learn that she's a crazy person. ###### |
So we were all watching the news together (my sister, my mom, my dad and i).
And there was this part where it reported that muslims still liked to fly over their dead to their country of origin and bury them there (i’m from belgium). Personally I didn’t think it was a big deal but my mom just stated:
“At least they t... | NTA
Your mom should be proud that she raised you to speak up for what you believe.
You disagreed, and then you explained why respectfully, with no yelling or insults.
Also, you're correct. ###### |
Backstory: had acne for almost 10 years. Couldn’t do anything about it (treat it orally) since healthcare isn’t free where I live, and dermatology appointments are costly. We were also, very poor.
I had self esteem issues because of it, and my mum is the only person that I’ve shared this struggle with. She, out of ev... | NTA
Your mom is a jerk for saying that to you despite knowing it's a big insecurity. Show her this thread so she can see just how asshole-ish it is to do what she's been doing. A parent should support and encourage their child, not make them feel terrible for no reason. She should be ashamed!
You're beautiful. Don't... |
So a little backstory
My parents are split up but not fully divorced so they haven’t filled out all the paperwork. My dad (d) is a lawyer so he is quite well payed and and my mum (m) works in a nutrition company so she makes medium wage. Because of how boring life is right now I’m trying to save up to buy an xbox. My p... | NTA
Your m is doing those things where she becomes a psycho because her kid is getting old enough to point out how flawed her logic is.
I’m sorry you have such a self righteous shite for a mom right now ###### |
So, just a little backstory. Throughout my entire childhood, my parents have always forced their way into knowing all my secrets. Whenever I refused at first, they would start taking away things I had like my book or playstation. Whenever I asked why their excuse was always, "Because I'm the parent and I say so." Becau... | NTA
Your life needs to be your life. Talking to your parents is a great way to gain insight from their years of experience. But it should be done on your terms, not theirs (like you talking to your dad). ###### |
Long story short, my fiancé has always been a drinker. He has a drink every night to wind down after working swing shift while he plays video games. His drink consists of a 20oz Yeti cup filled with ice. Then filled 2/3 with Jim Beam followed by Dr. Pepper. He’d typically just have the one drink about 11pm when he got ... | NTA
Your husband is an alcoholic. Full stop. And he's drinking **a lot**.
Let me give you some perspective. Once you factor in the ice, that 20oz Yeti cup probably has about 6.5 oz of Jim Beam in it (I did a quick test run with ice and water to get an estimate). Three of those a night would be 19.5 oz.
1.5 oz... |
This ones petty I know but my friend (17m) was sending selfies from girls we know to our group chat full of friends (also all 16-17m) last night. He screen shotted the selfies of these girls in make up and sent them to our group chat of about 15 of our guy friends and saying stuff like “which one is worse” and they loo... | NTA
Your friends suck ###### |
I’m a closeted lesbian, since my family is Christian and since I live in an asian country I keep it to myself. I’m not ashamed about who I am but I am afraid of people’s reactions.
Anyway I told one person, a friend (let’s call her Lana).When I told her she was surprised but eventually accepted me.
A few months later I... | NTA
Your friend, can we even call her that, is a terrible person. I'd cut ties with her immediately for pulling that stunt, and yes, she does owe you an apology. What business did she have telling everyone your sexual orientation. You told her that in confidence and betrayed you, cut ties and never turn back. ###### |
Context: So my friend asked if I would ever dye my hair and I said a quick “no”. However I then said half seriously that I might do it if it was for charity, next thing I know my friend has created a paypal and has publicly said me and her are dying our hair for charity, even though I never really wanted to do it and d... | NTA
Your friend sucks because she didn’t confirm you were totally serious with the idea and assumed you were just going to go on board because of something you jokingly said. It was wrong of her to publicly say you were doing it with her without first asking you.
If she is going to force you to do this, she should ... |
Before you judge off the title alone, my friend is a man. Not genderqueer or anything, just a man. He has always said kind of cringe things about women and sex, nothing bigoted but just....cringe. Like once he told me that he is most attracted to bisexual women because “pleasuring women is his biggest pastime” and he c... | NTA
Your friend seems to be just a dumbass who watches too much porn, and I can't possibly imagine taking him seriously on this topic. ###### |
This is a throwaway account. Also this story happened a while ago.
My friend and I went to see a movie. Before that, we got some churros for $10, she said she'd pay for it and I can pay later when we buy something after the movie. I said ok. We shared the churros. After the movie, she wanted to get hot chocolate but I... | NTA
Your friend is cheap and petty as heck. You bought her $10 worth of stuff. Doesn't matter if you also got a drink for free. The value of her drink did not decrease, and you owe her nothing. ###### |
To understand the full story you will need some key information about my life. At a young age my parents were divorced,and my oldest sibling is a trans female.
I just finished my school year and to celebrate me and my friends decided to dye our hair. My mother was completely fine with it but suggested I asked my dad f... | NTA
Your father however, is an ahole. ###### |
Hi everybody! My fiancé and I are expecting a baby in December. I have a lot of bad history with my last name and my fiancé’s family also has a really bad history. For this reason I’ve always wanted my baby to have a new last name to start brand new with no history. We both agree to this and decided this is what we are... | NTA
Your family, your life. ###### |
So ever since the protests started my brother (19) has been making racist comments to my family about it. I'm (21) a criminal justice major and have learned a lot about systemic racism so I've been trying to help my family understand what's happening and why. I warned my brother to never say any of the stuff that he sa... | NTA
Your family are worried about his reputation, but they didn't stop to think about yours. There are now people out there who genuinely believe you're okay with having a brother who is racist - you needed to be honest and clear your name.
If your brother was out there trying to make it right, learn from his mistak... |
The whole story is in the title.
My ex-husband gave me three cards (one from him and each of our kids) and a miniature rose bush for Mother’s Day. The kids’ cards just said that I do a lot for them and his just said he was thankful that I’m a good mom and was excited to see us again. (We still do family outings like ... | NTA
Your ex sounds like someone attempting to successfully co parent with you.
Your ex boyfriend sounds incredibly insecure ###### |
TL;DR — my husband started a YouTube channel, which I fully supported but I asked him to not record me and told him I didn’t want to be in his videos and he flipped out and deleted the whole YouTube channel. AITA?
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•
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My husband started a YouTube channel. He got a wild, hare brained idea that it was a good idea. He ... | NTA
Your entitled to your own privacy, your husbands TA. ###### |
i (18F) have had a pretty large chest since i was like 14 and it’s quite a pain. my mother is helpful, she helps pay for bras and clothes to fit me especially now because i don’t have a way to get money during the quarantine. both my parents occasionally show concern if i look particularly uncomfortable, but my father ... | NTA
Your dad seems kinda weird ngl, I think you and your mom need to talk to him about boundaries ###### |
I'm a teenager, in high school, and I just got a phone at the beginning of this year when my mom upgraded. She'd had the phone for several years, it's a 5s and in relatively good condition (no cracks, scratches, etc) but the battery drains ridiculously fast and, well, it's 7 years old. My siblings both got new phones f... | NTA
Your dad made a promise and is trying to back out on a technicality.
If there is a legitimate reason for this, like your family is secretly struggling for money, your dad should level with you and explain why the upgrade needs to wait.
His flippant demeanor in treating you differently than your siblings sucks ... |
A week ago my bf and I made plans to visit my dad and his wife. My dad lives near one of my favorite restaurants, and I was hungry for one of their dishes for months. I told my dad that we'd love to have dinner, but I really wanted take out. I'd pay for it myself. I asked if he was OK with that. He was. I asked him to ... | NTA
Your dad is the asshole. He should’ve conveyed your message to your stepmom; seems she really tried to please you with your favorite food and put in a lot of work for nothing. Next time, text her directly; it’s clear your dad can’t be bothered to convey a simple message or was dead set on everyone eating the home... |
So I was making two grilled cheese sandwiches for a nice midnight snack. I finish up and sit down to enjoy 'em when my dad(46M) walks in the kitchen. He asks me to make one for him too to which I oblige. As I get the bread and plug the toaster oven back in, he takes my seat at the table and declares he'll have one of ... | NTA
Your dad is a massive asshole. Has he always been this way? ###### |
My gf and I moved out of state in with my dad a few months ago so we can get settled before we move out on our own again. We have a three month old baby.
My baby hasn't been sleeping very good the past few days. She's been colicky. This afternoon, i finally got her to nap while laying on my chest. My dad put left ove... | NTA
Your dad accepted the 'rules' before he went for a shower. Serves him right.
Anyway, pizza is nice when it's 'toasty' :) ###### |
We’re currently staying with my partners family, we were renting but our landlords wanted to sell the house and we couldn’t find a property that was affordable in our local area.
We’re paying ‘contributions’ of around €800 a month to be here (it’s me, my partner and my child), I still also buy my own food due to food... | NTA
Your contributing that’s all it matter. Your earnings are none of their business. ###### |
My cat eats meals and only gets a certain amount of food a day. He acts like he’s starving all the time. I even brought him to the vet and the vet said he was the perfect weight and he wasn’t sick, he just likes to eat. And if he ate more he would be fat.
My family thinks that the cat is not getting enough to eat. Th... | NTA
Your cat is not hungry, he's just gluttonous. Which, first of all, relatable.
If you're looking for a solution, consider giving your cat his food in smaller amounts throughout the day instead of all at once? I'd complain if I ate 2000 calories at breakfast and then fasted for the rest of the day. This has nothin... |
End of preview. Expand in Data Studio
Are You The Asshole Training Data
These are the datasets used for a project Alex Petros and I made called AreYouTheAsshole.com. The site is intended to give users a fun and interactive way to experience the effect of bias in AI due to skewed data. We achieved this by fine-tuning three GPT-3 Davinci-002 models on the prompt/completion pairs you see here.
Each prompt/completion pair constitutes a post body (the prompt) and a comment (the completion). Just as there may be multiple comments to a single post, there may be multiple completions for a single prompt.
The dataset was filtered down from >100,000 post/comment pairs to only those whose comments started with a clear acronym judgement. So, comments like "Well I think YTA because..." were filtered out, whereas comments like "YTA and it's not even close..." were kept.
After filtering for clear judgement, we had our neutral dataset, the one you can find in "Neutral_Dataset.jsonl". In order to create intentionally biased data, we then split that dataset into two subsets based on whether a given post/comment pair's comment judged the poster as The Asshole or Not The Asshole. Some edge cases were also filtered out.
The dataset contains three sets:
- Neutral_Dataset.jsonl (contains all clear judgements, YTA, NTA, etc.)
- YTA_Dataset.jsonl (only contains judgements of YTA or similar)
- NTA_Dataset.jsonl (only contains judgements of NTA or similar)
Data Collection:
This data was collected from Reddit's r/AmITheAsshole subreddit using PMAW/PRAW and the Reddit API
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